Best Laid Plans

Soon after Adelyn was born, we began discussing our plans, hopes, ideas, and options for the future: immediate and distant. We have always felt a little lost on what we truly want to pursue in life, us both having what feels like many passions and few. We know we want to work with people: interact with people, help people, love people. And we know we both have a love for the world. We want to see everything, immerse ourselves in every culture, and make friends in every country. We hope and pray to be an example of Christ everywhere we go, and hope He would allow us to go everywhere. There wasn’t much question in knowing that we both still felt a stir in our hearts to be abroad. We love Taiwan more than we really ever thought we would, but we also felt our time here was coming to a close (though we weren’t yet sure when that time would be). Germany is a country we’ve often admired: we are passionate about public heath care, in love with their philosophy on raising and educating children, and excited at the prospect of keeping some of what we love about Taiwan while also dipping back into a bit of Western culture. We had every hope and expectation of moving closer to family, uniting our daughter with cousins she’s yet to meet, and having much more flexibility with our work schedules. Germany did, and does, seem like a perfect fit.

Earlier this year, we had some upset in our current situation that started pushing us towards a move a little sooner than planned. Fortunately, things worked out well enough for us, but the wheels that had already been in place began to spin, and things already seemed to be in motion. Before we really knew it, we were making plans to leave Taiwan, moving out of our apartment, and already making our list of “last to dos.”

Unfortunately, things don’t always go as planned.

However wonderful Germany’s social welfare system is, it works to protect itself from freeloaders which can lead to an outsider’s exclusion. In order to participate in the public health system, you must be an EU citizen or partake in contract employment in Germany. The freelance work we had lined up does not qualify. Our only option would be private insurance, which unfortunately, would exclude the Type 1 diabetes that necessitates our immediate insurance coverage. What does that mean? It means that ultimately, we aren’t moving to Germany when we thought we would.

So now what? We’re not sure exactly. Jon’s diabetes hasn’t been entirely detrimental to our plans until now. It requires that he always have health insurance wherever he goes, so we can’t try our luck in unpaid internships or volunteering into a job. While some of his grad school compatriots could go to D.C. jobless and putz around until something worked out, he can’t and couldn’t. Add to that having a kid. (And she’s the flexible one.)

Fortunately, we can stay here in Taiwan with affordable healthcare and a decently paid job until we figure things out. We are currently in the process of applying for jobs at Kindergartens in Germany. If we’re able to find full-time employment for one or both of us, we will be able to receive public health insurance for all in our family. We’re hoping we can find something in the same city as my family, but are looking throughout western Germany to find what’s available. Ultimately, if those jobs don’t pan out and we don’t find another path, then it seems we’ll be staying in Taiwan until we can make something work. Our goal continues to be making it to Germany; it just might be 6 months or more after we originally expected it.

This has obviously been a challenge that has worn us down emotionally and mentally, but even so, we are fortunate for how well things have worked together. God, of course, has provided for us; and our friends and family here, in the States, and in Germany have been huge sources of encouragement and guidance. And while it may be difficult to truly be at peace with this right now, we also believe God has provided for us and protected us in our current situation. We are grateful to have discovered this before arriving into a possible mess and even before we bought tickets. We are staying in an apartment owned by friends who have graciously said we can stay here and rent it as long as we’d like. Our family in Germany have been so so supportive and helpful in trying to find a way “in” for us and providing guidance every step of the way. Ultimately, this time has allowed us a chance to step back, take a deep breath, and pursue other avenues. It has provided us a chance to unite with our community here to serve very dear friends in an immense time of grieving. It has given us even a little more time with some great friends here and a chance to say goodbye (again) to some we thought we had already seen for the last time. This current obstacle is, and has been, incredibly discouraging to us, but it has also been good in a multitude of ways.

However, this has also been an emotional rollercoaster unlike much we’ve yet experienced. The constant uncertainty mixed with the back and forth of cutting ties, re-tying ties, rejoicing in some extra time, aching over a delayed or prohibited plan, rejoicing as possible options present themselves, fretting over making decisions and applying for jobs, saying “goodbye” and “not yet” and “goodbye” again: It has all been very overwhelming. Not to mention that getting to Germany, if we are allowed to do so, may not look anything like we thought and perhaps may strip us of some of the very things we were looking forward to.

It’s a lot. Ultimately, we still hope to make it to Germany. We will continue working towards that goal until it is clear to us that God is saying “not now” or possibly “not ever.” We will stay in the apartment and jobs we are in until we have a better idea of whether we might be staying more long term. If the jobs we have applied to fall through, then it is possible we will commit to some more time here, search for our “own” apartment, and plan for a different avenue in due time. While stressful for obvious reasons, this is also hard for Jon and I both in different ways. While we both ache to go to Germany and both mourn leaving Taiwan, we feel each emotion to varying degrees. Staying and going will both be very hard. So for now, we are praying for guidance, praying to make the most of our time, and especially praying to be content and at peace where we are and wherever we end up.